Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
