my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
