what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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