I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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