Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
