I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
