she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
