Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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