chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
