And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
