Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
