he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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