We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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