She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
