dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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