he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize