glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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