i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
