I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
