East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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