i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
