i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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