it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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