It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
