How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dick very happy bro
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
