i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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