Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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