She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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