i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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