is your mom at the bar?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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