White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My breasts were aching with rage.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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