Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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