Come see our sink grown plant.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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