this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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