Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
