He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
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She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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