New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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