Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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