when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize