I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't put those talents on a resume
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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