butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
