your room smells of hookers.
And success
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
