hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I got inside last night via doggy door
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
