All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
