he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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