We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize