he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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