but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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