He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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