She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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