lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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