Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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