I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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