I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
