your thong is hanging out like whoa
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
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I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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