Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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